By Kim Helland

No African trip would be complete without the "Sundowner Cruise" experience. Our safari was certainly enriched by this traditional tourist activity (also known as the "booze cruise".) The trip took place on the Chobe River, which is flanked by the Caprizi Strip of Namibia to the north and Botswana to the south. For US$20 we were treated to snacks, beverages and a 3 and 1/2 hour guided boat tour on the water until (you guessed it!) sundown. To make it worth our while, my safari mate, Simon, calculated that at $.60 a beer, we would have to consume approximately 33.3 beers each to break even. So, in the spirit of higher math and fairness, my sister Sue and I, along with the rest of the gang, proceeded to undertake our mission with true tourist gusto.

Our first encounter of the animal kind was a herd (pod? group? gaggle?) of hippopotamus. Lorraine, an Aussie safariite, was convinced that they were just about the cutest things that she had ever seen, ("awww, look! They're sooooo cute. Sue, look! Awww"). I was about ready to throw her overboard. As we pulled up for a closer look, our British member, Richard, tipped over my cup and spilled beer all over the deck. I thought, "does that count as one of my 33.3...?" We were treated to the sight of a newborn hippo cub/pup. So sweet. A pint sized blob of beautiful bouncing baby blubber. After much postulating and tusk-baring, mother hippo ushered the little guy into the water as fast as her four stumpy legs would allow.

Next on our Disney Jungle Ride was a vast herd of cape buffalo. As far as the eye could see (as the other one was covered to help with focusing). In a flash of insight I noticed that the buffalo have this grim way of looking at you as if you owe them a lot of money. At first they more or less ignored us, but as soon as our fearless captain (The Skipper) decided to beach our craft, we, and they, became a little bit nervous. Sue inquired "um, how effectively does this barge travel in reverse...?" It was an awesome sight and afforded us some idea about the potential magnitude and scale of the annual buffalo migration.

A little later (perhaps 3 or 4 beers) our Skipper decided to do his beaching trick again, this time in the company of a rather large crocodile. Mr. Croc, sir, didn't initially appear too annoyed. He rolled a big yellow eye our direction, blinked, then continued on with his sunbathing. We ooed and awed over it for a few minutes and then with lightning speed, it slipped into the water next to our boat. Of course, we all jumped a mile high and then decided that this called for another beer, if just to calm our nerves.

By now the chips and pretzeley things were gone, but undeterred, we persevered in our quest for fairness. In retrospect, good thing my camera had auto focus. By now, however, a few of us were facing the inevitable result of such imbibery: The need to pee. Glancing at the sun, I noticed we still had a good 45 minutes before touch down. Yikes. However, the next sight to assault our weary eyes was so incredible that we soon forgot all about our precarious bladder situation. We saw elephants - hundreds of 'em! They were meandering down to the riverbank for a little imbibing of their own. Some were drinking, others were frolicking in the water, while a few were crossing over to the other side to emerge with a feel-good dust bath. The little ones were the most entertaining, as they had not yet mastered the Art of the Trunk. Many were still trying to figure out how it was attached and what in the world it was supposed to be used for.

We were having a somewhat similar struggle with our own inebriated appendages. All in all, it was a truly glorious and amazing adventure on the Chobe River.