By Andrea Hulser

Advice for Solo Women Travelers

While trekking the Anapurna Circuit in Nepal, Jacqui, an Australian woman in her late 20s traveling solo through the Far East, stopped for the night at a small hut deep in the Himalayas. It was freezing outside and she was wearing a borrowed jacket with a bum zipper that refused to easily close. She pawed at it repeatedly with oversize mittens to no avail. Removing the mittens was no better because her fingers became so raw and icy within seconds that they were rendered instantly useless. As fate would have it, she met Brian at the hut, a boisterous blonde Canadian also traveling on his own. They hit it off immediately and decided to pair up, and hike together for a while. Brian never faltered through the trip in helping her zip her jacket up with a smile, his fingers seemingly oblivious to the chill. She knew then it was love; three years later, Jacqui and Brian were married in Sydney.

OK. So this story is probably an anomaly; rarely do solo traveling experiences end in a "happily ever after" way. But one of the fun and exhilarating aspects about setting on your own is that you are practically guaranteed some novel adventures and, most likely, some very good friendships. Not only are you more likely to push yourself that extra mile to be outgoing - and thus are probably going to meet more people as a result than you would have had you traveled with someone else - but you are sure to be rewarded for it. When you meet a fellow traveler on the road, you find you have an instant camaraderie, automatic interests in common, have undoubtedly shared similar experiences and can exchange anecdotes that are sure to be of significance to you both. That's a hell of a step up from trying to strike up a conversation with some random person in a bar or making small talk at a cocktail party that, let's face it, probably isn't interesting either to you or to the person to whom you're talking.

Traveling solo as a woman can be a nerve-wracking experience, but it is only as stressful as you allow it to be. I know many women who, for a variety of reasons and motivations, have ventured forth on vacations ranging from a week to many months on their own, and who have absolutely loved the experience. Some of the women were pretty outgoing and independent to begin with, probably card-carrying solo travelers from the get-go. But others were not compelled from birth to pick up and go on their own whenever and wherever the winds took them. Often the impetus for a solo trip came simply because they had some free time, wanted to travel, and none of their friends could take time off to go along. At that point, it becomes a matter of choosing: do I give up this trip or do I go it alone?

A friend of mine from London who has traveled extensively on her own admits that she feels cultural perceptions of solo women travelers have often prevented her from enjoying her travels to the fullest. There is, she believes, still a strong tradition for men to go off and discover their fortune and make their way in the world which is not really reciprocated in the same carefree way for women. Not only do solo female travelers face more reservations from their friends and family at home, but when traveling, a lone female attracts disproportionate attention. Despite the fact that backpacking is well established, solo females are likely to encounter quite a lot of questioning and whispers behind their backs, and there is often a hidden suspicion lurking behind the minds of observers that they must be traveling alone for a reason, that something is missing from the equation. My British friend recalls her time teaching local schoolchildren in Malaysia, when one of the teachers asked her (even though she was only 18) why her husband had let her go away for so long. She and her fellow co-workers ended up donning fake wedding rings in a desperate attempt to stop the beeping of horns and the whistling in the streets which were ubiquitous even after living there for 6 months. "A lot of the world has not caught up with the feminist crusade of the west," she concludes. "Women traveling alone have to be pretty thick skinned if they wander off the beaten track especially in areas where perceptions of women are still very traditional." And that's my first piece of advice before you leave home: prime yourself with realistic expectations and build up your calluses well. Thick skin coupled with a keen sense of adventure is your passport to the world.

If you decide to go it alone and take off into the wild blue yonder, good for you. Here's a bit of advice and thoughts from a veteran woman traveler who has toured both in a pair and by herself and who has loved every minute of each ride.


Before Leaving Home

Research your destination thoroughly before leaving home. It's important - not to mention interesting - to find out early about the culture into which you are going to be immersing yourself, regardless how short your stay. Learn a bit of the language (at the very least, "hello," "please," and "thank you"); you will find people treat you differently if they feel you are trying, and it makes you feel a bit more at home when you are able to communicate, however basic the level, in the home language. Learn what kind of dress is appropriate for a woman and what comportment is considered improper. Often I have seen women flaunting tradition by wearing too-short shorts or mini-skirts in cultures where women are discrete and such displays considered offensive. Regardless of whether you are traveling alone or with companions, actions like these will not only call undue attention to yourself, but also will make you stand out as an inconsiderate, possibly ignorant foreigner. Disappointing and antiquated as it may be, a woman on her own in most parts of the world is still somewhat of an oddity, and it is not only respectful to understand your host country's traditions and standards, but a matter of safety and common sense as well.

As far as clothing goes, in addition to paying attention to the appropriateness of your wardrobe, you will definitely be rewarded by adhering to one hard and fast rule - no cotton! Tempting as it may be to carry along your soft comfy shirts and jeans that you can't live without, clothes like these are a pain in the butt to dry. Polyester, rayon, and nylon are your new best friends; quick-dry shirts and pants are unbelievably utilitarian on the road, and after many years of traveling, I strongly feel that they are well worth their higher price. When you find your entire trip's clothes dry the morning after a hand washing in some hot and humid town, you will be thoroughly grateful as you watch your neighbor desperately trying to wring out her still-soaked Levis and muttering obscenities under her breath. Being safe on the road also entails basic awareness of both the political and medical situation into which you will be venturing. United States consular websites on the country to which you will be visiting are great places to start your research. Proper vaccinations are vital before setting off on your journey. Buy a good medical kit; traveling by yourself implies that you have the sole responsibility for your well being and it's imperative to be prepared. I realized in the back towns of South America that here was where the drug companies must have shipped the supplies that had expired back home, so well stocked were the dusty shelves with absolutely ancient drugs and supplies, and I was happy my first aid kit was well-equipped. Carry feminine hygiene products with you if you are particular about a type or brand; often even in first world countries (i.e. parts of Europe) it is difficult to find specific items. Tampons are especially difficult to locate and more so if you favor an applicator; pads are generally more common in some ilk or another.

My advice: be flexible wherever possible since, in general, most pharmaceutical items are locatable in country, but if you really favor for some reason a particular brand, carry enough with you to last. Think about your itinerary before you leave home and at the very least, outline what you want and expect to take away from your trip. Some people are normally compulsive planners and can't stand the thought of not orchestrating each second beforehand, but I would strongly urge against too rigid of an agenda-type approach. I have done my share of meticulously thought out excursions; more often, however - and what I prefer - I have ventured forth with little more than a plane ticket to my drop off point and a detailed guide book, and have just gone from there. Especially as a solo traveler, it is good to have some balance between these extremes and above all, to be flexible. You need to allow yourself the space and possibility to change course (if you have one), to go to the jungle with new-found friends instead of the mountains as you had initially thought, or to go trekking in Nepal rather than diving in Bali. Sometimes your unexpected detours turn out to be the most rewarding times of the trip. When venturing out on your own, a healthy dose of "que sera, sera" (what will be, will be) is a good thing, since often your best laid plans will not run according to schedule anyway. Try to take the top points from what you've outlined as your main expectations and make sure to hit those along the way, but beyond that, try not to over-plan; enjoy the thrill of going with the flow. One of the best things about traveling by yourself is that you don't have to get consensus from anyone else, so you are free to learn about yourself, choose your own timetable on the fly, and change direction whenever and whenever you feel like it.

So with with your bags packed, excitement level pumped, ticket in hand or car primed, you're ready to go!


On the Road

When traveling as a solo woman, you need to be aware that you are not the majority profile and that you will be considered somewhat of a curiosity at times. It is likely you will at some point be singled out and peppered with questions that initially might be considered offensive if they were directed at you back home from total strangers. How old are you? Why are you traveling alone? Where is your husband? Why are you not home with children? At first, this can be extremely disconcerting, and in all honesty, a small bit of discomfort at these probing, personal questions often doesn't ever go away. However, it's important to realize that locals are more often than not just curious at the novelty in their midst, and mean no harm by their barrage of queries. Smile, answer their questions politely, and move on. One thing that I have done in the past is carry a small, plastic, Walgreens-variety photo album with pictures of family, friends, and pets; people on the road love to see that there is indeed more to me than just my perceived lonely old self.

Know your boundaries and your limitations. Often, you might find questionable advances aimed your way, the "transport, transport!" shouted suggestively in your direction or the "come into my shop and sit awhile," hint hint, nudge nudge. It is important to be aware that as a woman traveling on your own, you do need to be more cautious than perhaps you would be otherwise; there is truth to the old adage: safety in numbers. Don't put yourself in vulnerable situations, like going clubbing until all hours in dodgy neighborhoods or get drunk at a bar in which you know no one (and I'm not talking about the cute guy who has been doing tequila shots in the corner for the past five hours and has been eyeing your chest as if he is your bosom buddy - he does not count as a solid acquaintance who can be trusted to get you home). Date rape drugs are on the rise the world over, and it's important to keep your wits about you. That is not to say that you can't have any fun, it just means that you need to exercise a bit more caution and know that these are the tradeoffs for a great experience all your own.

That being said, one of the best things about traveling alone is that you are more approachable by others, and this includes other travelers looking for companionship for a while. Staying in hostels is a fantastic way to meet other people, not to mention to cut down on costs. Most hostels have common kitchen facilities which are natural places to strike up conversation and begin the friendship-making process. Also the dorm rooms are equally easy places to drum up some interesting talk. Even if you are not ordinarily the most gregarious person in a room, you will find that it is almost impossible to clam up in common facilities such as these and you will be drawn out of your shell. Be open to meeting people and whether you are a natural at picking up friends or a newbie, you will find it gets easier and more enjoyable as you go along.

Take lots of pictures and bring a journal. Regardless of whether you choose to make yours more of a scrapbook, pasting in ticket stubs, brochures, and restaurant cards or whether you keep a detailed written account of your adventures or perhaps choose to keep more of a guest book type journal, passing it around to your new-found friends for them to write short notes of your shared adventures, you will be grateful later on for the memento as you are able to relive your experience to the fullest.

Traveling is an extremely rewarding pastime, and not one to pass up just because you can't find someone to accompany you on the journey. In fact, that may be even more reason to hit the open road. Whether you are a seasoned world traveler or a novice just discovering backpacks and quick-dry clothing, your solo journey will be a challenging, interesting, memorable lesson in life, yourself, and the world.